This is a tough one to write. I have pondered if the words would appear. If they would go anywhere. If wrestling with your health is an issue...on top of the health of someone who love...settle in..let's talk.
In general, I am a pretty private person. No one likes to "air their dirty little secrets," so sharing this is a risk....maybe a huge leap of faith and a personal growth moment all rolled into one.
Probably from the outsider looking in -- one might question the following point -- over the years, I have struggled with my weight. Sometimes it's harder than at other times. Up and down. Yo-Yo living is my specialty.
My first big swing was in 2002 after Katie was born. Four kids in 5 years...yeah, that doesn't need any more explanation. I met my goal weight that time and maintained where I wanted to be for about 6 years.
2008 until present gets a little fuzzy. More ups and downs. Life was busy...exercise was sporadic. I looked for quick fixes, and they usually worked. For awhile.
Skipping to now...2016...August, 2016 to be specific....Life had caught up with me. J was closing in on 5 years post T1d diagnosis, we were sending our first born off to college, our second born (at 16) off to the east coast for the second year in a row to pursue his passion, and the two at home still keeping me incredibly busy. I was tired (still am) but my body was not well. I am getting old(er). There were plenty of signs and symptoms -- some I could ignore, and some I couldn't. Doctor after doctor, test after test...looking for some explanation and diagnosis as to what was going on....kind of still am.
The one thing I knew I could change...was becoming more and more apparent to me. (I really always knew it....was just choosing to look the other way for awhile)...
I wasn't taking care of me. Ouch. I also knew, if I didn't take care of me -- I wouldn't be able to take care of J (and the rest of my family) to the best of my ability.
So....I stepped on the scale...a place I had avoided for awhile. Double ouch. Definitely an eye opener. Definitely not where I wanted to be. Or where I was willing to stay. Life -- it's game on.
One of the biggest decisions on this short journey was that I was going to do it the right way. The hard way. The really, really hard way. I wasn't going to look for a quick fix. No pills. No packaged foods, and no liquid diets.
So on Sept 20....I decided I would work to get health(ier) for me. Beyond that -- I don't really have a goal. Goals are great -- they can also play mind games with you...at least they do for me. So there aren't any numbers -- no goal weight, no I am going to exercise ___ number of times a week...no calorie counting and no not going to eat out statements. I know all the things I am supposed to do to be well -- I just had taken a bit of a vacation from doing them.
There are some things kind of out of my control -- availability of free time -- ability to sleep -- etc. I am working to be better at that. Not great or perfect, just a little better.
I guess I am sharing today because I did have a landmark in my head. 20 pounds. If I got to 20 pounds, I would share and maybe help someone else in the same boat as me. Folks....today the scale said 21.6 pounds done and gone (hopefully forever).
I am not going to lie. It's hard. I sometimes would like a quick fix. (a lot of the time) As we tell our kids though....doing the right thing, is never the easy thing.
So....if you have made it reading this far...thanks. Second...you are not alone. If I can do it....believe me you can too.
Being health(ier) is a journey.....
